Our Friend, the Darkness

In darkness, I found peace

The silence of the night

A moment of clarity

Of purity, of calm

Where once were demons

And monsters and pain

Now reside the shadows

Of tranquillity and calm

They soothe my mind

Caress my soul

Blanket me, guard me

Shroud me in night

Sharpen my senses

Feed my conscious

I find that the darkness

Has the brightest of lights

Three flames

First there was the pain

That shattering sensation that tears you to shreds

That agony that comes with the sudden void

The emptiness that hits you like a train

That something so vital, so beautiful

Can be taken so easily, and so brutally

And leaves nothing but wreckage in its wake

And in that void, darkness enters

Creeping silently, coiled like the cobra

Fangs bared, ready to strike

And let that poison flow into every vein,

Every pore, every corner of your soul

It consumes you, but does not kill you

No, not death, but wrath, is that poison

Bitter, twisted anger

And you yield, welcome it in

And you burn.

The second is the madness

The blind lunacy of denial

That realisation of your own utter folly

In the face of all reason and common sense

Hindsight laughs at you as you fall

The crushing knowledge that it was all there

All so obvious – all so clear

The betrayal, the idiocy, the trust undeserved

And you retreat into the shell you have become

As the demons knock at sanity’s door

And you open it, let them in

Let them take your last drop of faith

And fashion a mirror from it for you

So that the face of the fool is known to you

That you might come to loathe it

And you burn.

The last is the best and worst of them

The devotion of the spurned

The compassion of the scorned

Warmth undeserving

Given willingly, against good wisdom

Such nobility as can only come from angels

The terrible beauty of forgiveness

The angel that bled, but chose to heal you instead

The angel that now soars before you

Shining her light upon your weary brow

As she flies to better lands

And leaves you to your lonely shores

That is your punishment and your salvation

And it burns

For the last is truth.

Shell of a Man

This world is full of dreams

Full of illusion

Full of hope

Full of the lies we feed ourselves

The deception of utopia

The hope we shall find paradise

On our doorstep

The riches, the luxuries

The white picket fence

The happy family

It’s all bullshit.

There is no dream

That cannot be shattered

No illusion that cannot be unmasked

No hope that cannot be in vain

And as you watch it crumble

Into ash at your weary feet

You wonder how you fell for it

How you were suckered into the lie

How stupid you were to believe

In the dream, the illusion

The lie

Happiness.

There is nothing to cling to

No light at the end of this tunnel

Nothing but an eternal black hole.

The only peace left in this wreckage

Is the bliss of oblivion.

As your last hope fades into bitter memory

And your last hope of joy turns away

You see the great myth of humanity

And deplore your weakness

That you can’t bring yourself to leave.

You clear the fog from the glass

And can’t even look at me

You can’t bear to see the pain

In your own eyes.

Good morning, cruel world

I’m still stuck here today.

But why? But why? But why?

Good morning all you people

There’s nothing you can say

That helps to ease my mind

From the lie.

Black Morning (first written circa March 2004)

Black Morning

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Sleepless night, empty dreaming

Twisting, turning, restless slumber

Ended by a waking call

A noise that snaps me out of dreams

And into reality

The sun is hidden from my eyes

The clouds above dominate the sky

The rain falls heavy to the earth

Feeding the land, waking the land

The cold morning breeze slaps my face

The drops of water soak my head

The morning air is clean but cold

As pure malevolence strikes my soul

As black as night comes this black morning

Fire rises with the sun’s first dawning

The people fail to heed this warning

Terror will strike you on this black morning

The day is young, but soon I know

The world will change, forever scarred

A fire will rise and cleanse the land

And none will escape its scalding hand

The garden’s beauty will be spoiled

The flames of death will eat the trees

Cry havoc! Let slip the dogs of war!

And kill our world to save us all!

As black as night comes this black morning

Fire rises with the sun’s first dawning

The people fail to heed this warning

The flame will rise on this black morning

Fire! Fire! Smoking and crackling and hungry for blood

Fire! Fire! Scorching the garden and claiming the wood

Fire! Fire! Burning the land and devouring our homes

Fire! Fire! Taking our lives and destroying our souls

Time to rise, time to shine

Time to feel the flame on your hide

No time left to save your soul

No moment left to say goodbye

The fire burns and licks your face

Snares you in her warm embrace

You belong to her, you feed the bitch

And the whore moves on, a deadly witch!

As black as night comes this black morning

Fear rises with the sun’s dawning

The people fail to heed this warning

The flame is spreading on this black morning

Rain! Comes to save us all

Rain! Comes to drench the flame

Rain! Showers on our heads

Rain! Hurts the deadly fire

Rain! Makes the she-wolf hiss

Rain! Fights the demon’s kiss

Rain! Force the fire back

Rain! Out on the attack!

The flame is gone, but not alone

The land is scarred, forever marked

The burning trees come tumbling down

Like flaming bodies all around

The last survivors come crawling out

Their loved ones gone, their ashes dust

The glowing embers left as warning

A devil’s way to say “Good morning!”

As black as night came this black morning

Fire rose with the sun’s first dawning

The people failed to heed the warning

The flame devoured on this black morning

Smouldering land, by the devil’s hand

A world aflame on this black morning!

1 a.m.

Star light, star bright, shine so brightly in the night

Wish I may, wish I might have this wish I wish tonight

I wish for peace, for quiet lives, for simple pleasures long forgot

Before this world can take no more, I wish to live before I rot.

I look at the sky, I see the stars,

Little pinpricks in the blanket of night

A church bell tolls in a distant town

Chimes telling me its 1 a.m.

The cool breeze blows through my hair

As I sit and gaze at the stars above

Dogs bark away on distant farms

My own dogs sit, or wander by.

I gaze forlornly at the stars

And wonder if they watch over us

Like a million angels, shining bright

Singing their songs in celestial choir

I look at them, I look at me

I look at us, this human race

I wonder what our futures hold

And why we hate ourselves so much

I love this world, its beasts and trees

And loathe the race that tortures it

Like I’m so innocent of such a charge

But then perfect? Never said I was

I wonder if my mind is sick

Would someone help me make it well?

What friends I have I cannot tell

But then to tell the truth, I never could.

If there’s a God, does He weep for me,

A lost sheep, strayed from the herd?

Does He know how to cleanse my soul

Of all the pain inside of me?

Did I bring this all upon myself?

Not all, but surely some of it

So before I go and blame the rest

I need to answer to myself

The dogs come over, sit by me

I pat their heads and stroke their backs

They lick my nose, one wanders off

The other remains, sat by my side

I wonder if she feels my pain

They say dogs sense these sorts of things

So does she sit beside me now

To comfort me, make me feel loved?

The wood, so black, I wander through

The treetops hide the starlit sky

I can barely see before my eyes

But strangely, I feel quite at peace

Maybe the night is my truest friend

Out here in the sticks, far from town

I feel no hate, no violent wrath

My spirit is calm, my mind relaxed

I think about my years gone by

About my friends, both now and past

I wonder if some part of them

Left me in such a tattered mess

What part of my life shaped who I am?

What traumas scarred my infant mind?

What makes me tick? What set the tone

For how I act? I wish I knew

But for now, I’ll just sit here alone

Out here at night, gazing at the stars

And as the night creatures stir and call

A distant bell tolls 1 a.m.

Candles Of The Gods (The Beauty Of Darkness)

Candles of the Gods

(The Beauty of Darkness)

The day has been long

But at last comes the hour

The sun finally rests her weary head

As the sphere of flame

Descends beyond sight

She illumines the sky, turned ablaze

The clouds glow red

And yellow, and bright

And the sea shimmers, flickering, vibrant

Then slowly they fade

The colours, the flames

And the sun surrenders to the night.

Star light, star bright

Shine so brightly in the night

Star child rise, join your kin

Take your place above us

Night’s tapestry weaves the sky

Blanket of darkness, pierced by you

Children of the star, shining far

Your light reaches us, and paints

Your family portraits; Orion, Aquarius

So many more to see and know

Astrological family trees

Telling stories of time long passed

And ruling you all in the kingdom of night

Mother Moon reflects on us all

Lighting the dark lands far below

Guiding life to wherever it must go

Majestic, sombre, glowing white

Dominating the sky so black.

Clouds come, come to shroud

Come to take night lights away

Cold, remorseless, without pity

Armies of the rain charge on

Nothing can she do but wait

Endure the cruel obfuscation

Yet still, she persists, still she duels

And her luminance bursts through the blockade.

Night’s rain falls, but she reigns high

Never falters, never leaves her throne

Now when there is much work to be done

The night must have its majestic queen.

Star child rise, star child shine

Star child sit with your nocturnal kin

In the service of your monarch great

You have excelled, and lit the furthest lands

As candles of the gods.

For many years, beyond man’s reckoning

Perhaps beyond memory of Father Time

Your kin, your race, have traversed the sky

Endured, survived, burned bright above

But your light is far, so far away

The clouds can hide your distant flare

A battle lost, a moment of darkness

Not knowing when you’ll shine again

But soon they pass, the ominous vapours

And so your light, restored again

Burns bright and true, and right through

The blackness of the night.

But Mother Moon and Mother Sun

Constantly will they plot and scheme

To usurp, to conquer the other’s realm

Their bickering ways shadow us all

The fire is stronger, often she wins

While Mother Moon can only watch

As her light is dulled by the queen of day

Eclipsed by her solar greatness

But just sometimes, the moon triumphs

And fights back her oppressive sister

To shroud her from the world below

And steal a moment of a dark day

The night has been long

But at last comes the hour

The moon must rest her weary head

The sphere of stone

Descends beyond sight

And the sun will return to the throne

LEPRECHAUNS!

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In the dark recesses of the human soul

There lurks a twisted notion

An evil so diabolically vast

It dwarfs the whole of the ocean

Its force is strong, it’s will is great

It feeds on fear and anger

And nobody even knows it’s there

Hidden like the 18^th hangar.

It knows your desires, your fears, your rage

It likes to watch you boil

It waits until your boiling point

Explodes on this mortal coil

And when your hate has taken you

Your soul is a toy to play with

But not of the devil do I speak

But a greater so-called myth…

It’s the LEPRECHAUNS! The LEPRECHAUNS!

The sprightly little LEPRECHAUNS!

They tempt you with their crock o’ gold

They show you such sights to behold

They taunt you, tease you, make you squirm

They make you wriggle like a worm

Their evil little beady eyes

Their voices speaking truth and lies

They spin your mind inside your head

They’ll make you wish that you were dead!

Evil little buggers, aren’t they?

Why do you look at me that way?

Can’t you see they’re here to stay?

They’re stalking me, they hunt and prey

Why am I wearing this coat of white

That makes me hug myself all night?

Don’t you understand my plight?

The leprechauns, an evil fright!

You think I’m mad, you think I’m loopy

You think I’m going round the hoopy

You’ll see, I’m right, I’m not insane

These things are not just in my brain

The leprechauns, all clad in green

They’re cruel and nasty, cold and mean

They’ll slap you, punch you, poke with sticks

They’ll superglue your private bits

They’ll steal your money, car and dog

And smoke your carpet like a log

They’ll turn your house into a den

For thieves and hookers and Uncle Sven

They’ll tell your family that you were killed

By a giant purple aspirin pill

They’ll laugh at you, they’ll smell your crotch

And tell you that it smells of scotch

(Which is really weird, because you see

I never drink it, it makes me wee)

They’re out to get us, don’t you see?

They’ll turn us all into human brie!

I don’t want to be some mouldy dairy

I want to be all skin and hairy

Please make them stop, please make them stop

Before my mind decides to pop

Oh no, they’re here, they’re here now!

Get them away, I don’t know how

They tease me, taunt me, make my cry

And never do they tell me why

But wait, what’s this? What do I see?

A dagger, hilt-first, held before me?

Oh no, it’s not, it’s just my mind

Playing with me. How very unkind.

But wait, what’s this? Another toy!

A big Smeg Hammer! Oh boy, oh boy!

Oh, now you’re scared, you little pests!

I know now how to make you rest!

SPLAT! goes one, and then another

Oh dear, was that your little brother?

Whack whack whack! I’ll squish them all!

I’ll make them pay, I’ll make them fall!

You little critters, now leave me be!

But what are these men doing to me?

No! Let me go! I must not stop

Until that last one there has dropped!

Don’t shackle me! Don’t chain me up!

He must die now, or I’ll erupt!

So now I must forever endure

The torment of my life

This leprechaun left here with me

Has found himself a wife

And now my mind forever frayed

Has fallen into tatters

Because this family of Irish pixies

Has left my mind so battered.

Evil little buggers, aren’t they?